Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Realizations due to Tribulations

I have encountered a lot of trials and challenges in my life, some of it shattered my emotional well being into pieces and some made me as the person I am now. When I was really down due to a wide array of trials that I have stumbled upon in my life I used to think that I could never move on, that it was the end of my life that I can never cope up. I felt so useless! I was really alarmed then. So what I did was to talk to a priest who is a close family friend. I told him everything (as in everything!) that I have been through, explained and shared how I felt and how I was willing to surrender. With this, the priest then told me something very important and special about my situation. He told me not to give up because I have a really significant role in this world and in this life, he then told me that I am a Wounded - Healer. So hearing this, I was like, what is it? Was it good or what? I keep on asking myself. Wondering what it means and this is how he explained it:  

It is the person who has gone through suffering, sometimes great, and as a result of that process has become a source of great wisdom, healing power and inspiration for others. In fact, a wounded healer undergoes a transformation as a result of their wound, their suffering and pain. They can actually transcend it, and successfully lead themselves to a path of service. It is as if the wound itself helps you drive yourself to an inner journey that becomes the transformation itself. One strips away the selfish, ego-based feeling of being all alone in our wound and expands to see others and how if one chooses a different role, one can help. But for me it, gives freedom and hope. It may no longer be trendy but for me it was life. I began to realize that I was called to share out of vulnerability, not strength. It began to permeate every part of my life. I no longer had to pretend thay I had it all. It allowed me to bring into play other important facade of my belief system. Like vulnerability, raw, real, imperfection, and transparency. A wounded healer for me is a person who brings healing to others as a way of helping to heal his or her own wounds.  If I see people with broken hearts due to the problems that bombards the society such as poverty, then I am drawn to serve others by helping them to heal their heartache through charitable activities or more so by finishing my political science degree and by then I will be able to help those people who cannot fight because of their class status.  As of now, I may offer guidance that also stimulates a process of healing within ourselves.  In doing so I may stimulate their own unresolved feelings to emerge so that I can come to terms with them and make some new, positive decisions about their future. It is not necessary to create wounds or problems in order to become a good person.  Being the wounded healer is not about damaging or sabotaging other peoples’ lives instead it will make me understand the problems of others because I feel from their pain and I know how and what they undergo in life through the studies that I had made in my polsci course.  I need to be willing to continue healing myself as I follow a path of service of others and draw from the wisdom of my own personal experiences.  In finding my own strengths, I know that I also help other people to grow stronger. Like my friends and most of all my family.  In providing strength for others, I know that it also strengthens me. It’s a give and take relationship. My role in my community is simple as being a good friend, a good son, a good student and most of all a good citizen of this country.

Thankfully, I was able to talk with that priest and in an early age I was able to realize the importance of my life. That I am a special being in my own right for God created me to do wonderful things in this life. That I have to accept myself and love myself more, and I did! Actually I’m proud of myself even if a lot of people judge me because of what I am, a homosexual. I just keep in mind that God loves me no matter what, I have my family to support me and my friends to cheer me up and be loyal to me whatever happens. Despite the hardships and trials that I have gone through and that I will be going through, I have to keep in mind that these tribulations are the one’s that makes me a better person! So kudos to me, a wounded-healer!

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